Yo Mama So Dirty--Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama So Dirty

Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater. 

Yo mama so dirty she makes mud look clean. 

Yo mama so dirty that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries! 

Yo mama so dirty that you can't tell where the dirt stops and she begins. 

Yo Mama's so dirty, she's got more clap than an auditorium. 

Yo mama so dirty she brings crabs to the beach. 

Yo Mama's so dirty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster. 

Yo Mama's so dirty, she made Right Guard turn left. 

Yo Mama's so dirty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea. 

Yo Mama's so dirty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out. 

Yo mama so dirty and smells so bad, she was entered in the hunger games and won within 30 seconds 

Yo mama is like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods. 

Yo Momma so dirty, she uses Dr. Scholl Odor Eaters for panty liners. 

Your mama is so dirty, that her cat got crabs instead of fleas. 

Yo mama is so dirty a drop of dawn and yo mom is gone 

Yo mama is so dirty, her house became insect AND pesticide-free. 

Yo mama so dirty I went to her house and got robbed by a rat, raped by a roach, and sat on a old piece of bread! 

Yo Mama's so dirty, the roaches wrote her an eviction notice. 

Yo momma so dirty she spent a Night at the Museum and archaeologists needed to unearth all the artifacts. 

Yo mama so nasty her breath smells like donkey sex. 

Yo mama so dirty she went to your school and the principal dropped out 

Yo mommas so dirty she brings crabs to the beach 

Yo mama so dirty the dirt on the ground look better than her 

yo mamma is so dirty her radio plays only one song Chamillionaires "Ridin Dirty" 

Yo mama so dirty I told her to do the robot.....and now R2D2 has AIDS 

Yo mama so dirty when she took a deuce she got arrested for killing her toilet 

Yo mama so dirty third world countries eat the cheese from the crack of her ass 

Yo momma so dirty when she jumped into the ocean they accused BP of another oil spill. 

Yo mama so dirty that even a car wash can't clean her 

Yo mama so dirty she carries a hornet nest in her purse

 Yo Mama So Dirty, Everytime She Talked, Her Breath Said, "Run N****!" 

Yo Mama So Dirty, that when terrorists kidnapped her, the CIA was afraid ISIS acquired a biological weapon. 

Yo mama's house is so dirty, Stanley Steamer could get her house cleaner 

Yo mama so dirty when she walk down the street poor people offer her soap 

Yo momma so diabetic and has so much gingivitis she drinks water and spits fruit punch. 

Yo mama so dirty when she wash up her water look like chocolate 

Yo Mama's so dirty, I asked her where the junk yard was and she said your looking at it 

Yo mama is so dirty that people use her bath water as a chemical weapon! 

Yo Mama So dirty She Make Right Guard Turn Left, Secret Tell It All, And Speed Stick Slow Down! 

Investment Advice Jokes

Investment Advice 

If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $16.00. 

With Enron, you would have $12.50 of the original $1,000.00 invested a year before bankruptcy.. 

With WorldCom, you would have less than $4.00 left. 

If you invested $1000.00 with Bernie Madoff you would have $0 

If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $215.00. 

Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. 

Lisa Lampanelli Stand Up Jokes --Hilarious Clean Jokes

Lisa Lampanelli Stand Up Jokes 

Me and my black boyfriend, Daryl, just celebrated our two-year anniversary. 

Come on, folks, two years -- that's nine and a half years in black. He's not technically a lawyer, but he's got three court cases next week. (about her boyfriend) With a big guy, it's good. 

You always know when they're ready for sex, 'cause naked, he looked like one of them butterball turkeys with the little pop-up timer. 

You know how your guy's underwear says, 'BVD'? His said, 'Boulevard.' He was so fat, he used Twinkies for suppositories.

 I was sweating like Kathy Lee at a Carrot Top look alike contest He was a very nice guy, very supportive, like Oprah's husband ... Gayle [King] . 

Hitler got more laughs than Jimmy Kimmel, and he did it without Jewish writers I see Eddie Griffin is here tonight, I don't know much about you Eddie, but I do know I love your brothers Damon and Marlon

 [Wayans] Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the grand prize was fire 

Yo Mama Is So Hip--Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama Is So Hip

Yo mama is so hip, if she's not listening to Lana Del Ray or Marina & The Diamonds you've probably never heard of them. 

Yo momma so hip she knows multiple ways to tie a scarf.

 Yo momma so hip that early adopters look to her for what to buy next. 

Yo mama is so hip, she has a degree in music, art, and fashion. 

Yo mama so hip she plays instruments nobody has even heard of. 

Yo mama is so hip, she drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon, grows all her food, and everything she owns is from a thrift store. 

Yo momma is so hip, people think she's from the Brooklyn suburb of Williamsburg. 

Yo momma is so hip, she knows about obscure bands even before they are on Pitchfork. 

Yo mama so hip, that even her dog wears a scarf.

 Your mom is so hip, she forced you to get a job at Urban Outfitters just for the discount. 

Yo mama so cool, she rollin and they hatin. 

Yo mama is so hip, she is either wearing a 5 inch heel or Converse sneakers. 

Yo mama so hip, all she does is namedrop obscure bands that you've never heard of. 

Yo momma so hip, she founded Ello because Tumblr became too Mainstream. 

Your mom is so hip, she has more Instagram followers than you do.

 Your mom is so hip, she won't even talk to a guy unless he has a man bun. 

Yo momma so hip, she thinks skinny jeans and flannel is business casual. 

Yo mama so hip none of her favorite songs are available on iTunes.

 Yo mama so hip she only buys organic cucumbers in brine because pickles are too mainstream. 

Yo momma so hip, she doesn't need money because she's an urban forager. 

Yo momma so hip she wraps presents in plaid wrapping paper. 

Yo momma so hip, she's a contributor at music blogs like "Gorilla Vs. Bear" and "Stereogum".

 Yo mama so hip that every piece of clothing she has is from a thrift store.